enough now

I don’t miss you.

when I stopped feeling your eyes on me,
stopped feeling your hand on my shoulder,
when I stopped feeling your kiss on my back,
I stopped missing you.

How could I miss you?
You came, and you stayed
in my breath and voice and thoughts
until you left.
And now you are finally,
finally gone,
and I can taste air that doesn’t belong to you
and oh, it’s never tasted better.

You came to me as soon as I let go
the first time
but this time I’m letting go of you.
So take back the space you gave to me
because I don’t need it,
I have enough now.

But I’ll keep some things.
I’ll keep the music the tent the dances the blinks.
I’ll keep the day you sipped my beer
I’ll keep the flower you put in my pocket
I’ll keep the pieces of the shell you cracked

I’ll keep the electricity
I’ll keep the motions the words the firsts
I’ll keep what was mine, always mine,
and maybe I’ll keep some of yours.
But the rest, I don’t need it, I don’t want it
Those things will belong to you
Oh, this way is better.

You take the sandwich dates the empty signs the last chances.
You take the name that won’t leave me
You take what kept me awake
You take the part of me that wanted you.
I’ve had enough now.

Take back the space you saved for me
Because I won’t take it.
I have enough now
And oh, I’m feeling better.