the bologna sandwich theory

A few months ago I met this guy, R*, at a party. I don't remember how I started talking to him, and I don't remember what kind of conversations we had (thanks a lot, Mr. Merlot and Mrs. Pinot Grigio). What I do remember, however, was that he was surprisingly attentive and far more sober than I. Maybe we talked most of the night, maybe we danced a little, and maybe we kissed a little. Still, most of it was a haze, and to be honest, I wasn't all that interested in him. He was just some guy. 

I don't think he felt the same way. 

In the months since, he's been keeping in touch, via text. I'm never cold with my responses, but I tend to be short with him-- he's a nice guy, funny (kind of), friendly. Kinda like a bologna sandwich. But I never really had any intention of seeing him again.  And then yesterday he asked me to go out with him. Besides being flattered, I'm mostly surprised; I haven't sent this guy any signals to show interest, besides some cordial response texts. Is he just earnest and honestly determined, or is he missing social cues?

Now, here's the thing: I don't get asked out all that often. I don't have a line of suitors wrapping around the block waiting for a shot. Part of me thinks I should be appreciative of the fact that here is a decent-looking, non-serial killer type future dentist who wants to take me on a good ol' fashioned date. Why should I say no? Another part of me thinks that that's doing the wrong thing for the right reasons (or the right thing for the wrong reasons)...it's at least disingenuous and a little self-aggrandizing. Even more, it defeats the purpose of what dates are for. You go on a date because you want to get to know someone a little better, not because you're going to do them a favor and let them get to know you. 

How do I know that I won't go on a first date with him and fall madly in love? I guess I don't. But I trust the instincts I have about people and situations, and I don't want to waste his (and my) time. 

So here's the point of telling you that goddamn story: Am I being a jerk?

*Leaving names out of this