today my brother and i decided to take two separate routes home (something we never do) because he wanted to go to mcdonalds and i wanted to go to sav-on. i always take forever in sav-on because i get so caught up with the sales and the shampoo and the chapstick and the candy that it takes me far too long to get out of the store. when i got home i expected to arrive after my brother, because he does know how to go through those fast food lines fairly quickly, and i did. i went to my room and as i was putting away my newly acquired chapstick and mentos i heard my brother screaming my name. i responded, kind of startled by the worry in his voice, and i he came to me so relieved and told me that he thought i had been abducted and was getting ready to go look for me. he told me that he said to himself, "the last time i ever see my little sister she's wearing jeans and an orange shirt!" i smiled and said, "i'm wearing purple."

these past few days have been so sad, im trying really hard to not think about the past or the future, which is really unlike me. there seems to be a permanent lump in my throat that when i try to clear away, makes tears spring up to my eyes. its kind of stupid and impossible to try to make up for all the years that we ignored eachother and hated eachother and physically abused eachother. and i really dont want to because all of that only makes me smile. i have such a good brother and he loves me and he tells me and i know it. i said it before and i really do mean it- after all these years that ive been waiting for his departure from home, im more excited about his arrival into the world.

my dad just walked in chuckling to himself and said to me (in between fits of laughter):
"you know, i'm watching this 'seventh heaven' show on tv... (choked up in laughter)... and theres some guy who... who... thinks hes... nap-p-p-olean! (with a big grin)... oh man, i just think... there's someone writing this stuff, and this is darn good writing. darn good writing"
oh boy. i cant find one thing in that that isnt funny.